The Steroidal Secrecy of Success: A Bodybuilder’s Journey to the BAFTA

dorianblog1“No enterprise is more likely to succeed than one concealed from the enemy until it is ripe for execution.” – Niccolo Machiavelli

In a moral wasteland full of people bitching that they live in a moral wasteland, we often forget the perks of living in a, say it with me, moral wasteland. Now you might relate if you were an Italian prince or a bodybuilding legend but if not, you’re probably still bitching. Along with the scheming, lying, manipulating and, you know, conquering, comes the unappreciated hustle and discipline of successful men and women.

Men, in this case, like Dorian “The Shadow” Yates. A bodybuilding legend, master of high intensity training and, last but not least, a conqueror. Like all professional bodybuilders, yes all, Dorian Yates has been on the juice. Numerously. Dorian, for almost the last two decades, has been and still is open about his usage of anabolic steroids but is that what made him such a successful person? After gaining the prestigious title of Mr. Olympia, the highest regard in competitive bodybuilding, for 6 consecutive times, Dorian sought to pillage other lands. Combined with being a 6 time world champion, a self-made businessman and a newlywed to a Brazilian fitness model with a large, you know, Instagram following. And if that doesn’t give you enough bitching material, would getting his own feature film do the trick?

On the 2nd of February, London Real, a British video talk show, will be releasing their first feature film to the British Academy of Film and Television Arts. Yes, Dorian the cheater, the steroid user, gets his own 3 hour feature film about his current life-guru status accumulated with wisdom over the last thirty or so years. The film, according to its teaser trailer and Yates’ old relationship with London Real, seems to revolve around his methods and manners in which he achieved such a successful life; not to mention, it will most likely involve a large segment focusing on his training philosophies that gained him the titles of both master and pioneer in the world of bodybuilding and now, business.

If you were to sit down with The Shadow, having not previously studied his work ethic and overall life achievements, you’d probably ask something stupid like: dude, if I just use supplements and eat, like, 2 meals a day, will I get as big as you?

This is why we have specialized professionals like Ron Harris from Muscular Development magazine. Harris, unlike your bitchful self, asked a much more profound question regarding Yates’ steroid use and whether or not it made him the champion he was, the champion he is. To which Yates replied with the following:

“There is a belief among many that equates success in bodybuilding purely to drugs. More drugs equals more success. Unfortunately, the key factor in all of this is genetics.”

However to simply state, my dearest reader, that you have a weak bloodline therefore you are unsuccessful wouldn’t be the whole story, now would it?

Like Yates’ infamously known training segment on, Blood and Guts, success demands sacrifice; that of your blood and guts. In the figurative sense, to people who have any sense, blood and guts and more are often or, perhaps, always in extremely high demand when it comes to those who seek to be triumphant. Individuals who have gained notoriety over the course of time may have gained such infamous repute at the ends of their means. In contrast, does that end come to any comparison when compared to the glory attained during the end-meeting phase where the conquering is pending, when it is alive.

Many of your heroes, role models and that well-achieved family member of yours that everyone would like to be, have probably gone through drastic measures to be where they’re at. Drastic as in something your pathetic self would only daydream about; drastic as in, for example, Schwarzenegger’s well-documented mind games during his competitive bodybuilding days. Or, of course, something a bit more current like, say, a politician who uses the ignorance of the masses to get into office.

In simpler terms for you non-conquering often conquered simpletons, if you’d like to achieve anything in life, you will be needing steroids. You will be needing the cunning nature of a wolf , the diabolical intelligence of a crow and the like-minded network of some devilishly Machiavellian creatures; something like a real estate agent. However, most importantly, you will need the work ethic of a peasant aspiring towards nobility; relentless in effort, unrivaled in execution and unafraid to face adversity.

You will be needing the non-injectible aforementioned attributes to be future conquerors of your desired paths. Maybe then, you’ll appreciate what it takes to be a champion or, at least, maybe stop bitching.

Until then, grow a pair. And conquer.


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