A Council of Coffee & Cigarettes, Part 4

Here we are again. A moment of truth. Another reckoning of self discovery—on time and complacency.

Raise your bitter cups of life, Espresso on the rocks, stirred not shaken. Kiss your smokes with the lips of death, the soldier’s cigarette, drawn not dragged.

Welcome to the Council.

leave me alone stop GIF by Phantom ThreadYou know that feeling? The one where you’re trying to fall asleep but one pestilent voice keeps ringing. Nagging.

“What did you do today?” It screams.

A surge of flashbacks takes over your mind and you remember every single detail of the day. Every single mistake. Every single thing you did—or didn’t do.

Time waits for no one, yet most of it is spent waiting on it….on time! I’ll be better tomorrow is a thought that is easily crowned the king of all self-deprecating thinking. It is repugnant and I am repugnant. This insinuated advice is repugnant, too.

Stagnation is repugnant and agitating when we can do so much more.

We don’t want to change and we especially don’t want to be told to do something about it. It’s demeaning, the whole confrontation amplifies the self-loathing. So we go to bed and we sleep it out, we slumber until the confrontation is no more. Until time runs out and nothing but death awaits after time running out.

If you did this in Anhedonia, you would be punished publicly. Shamed to death, and shame is worse than waiting. Waiting is worse than death.

In the Sinless City, actions don’t always speak louder than words but words, definitely, have no value without an action. Put your money where your mouth is, your actions where your dreams are. Change.

Write.

I need to change. Because waiting is a special kind of cancer, a cancer that goes uncaught in the bodies of those who are too blind to act. And to think that shadows are clearest in the day light. No, not when the light is blinding and not when we’re fools.

Irony is the most prevalent theme in life…well, for those who wait.

Don’t wait.

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